Looney Tunes

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, counselor nor a specialist.  The things I say in here are not for medicinal purposes.  I have found that writing helps ease my anxiety and the symptoms that go along with it.  This is not meant to harm, offend or piss anyone off.  These are MY thoughts and feelings and I've added some comedy relief.  This is the way I am dealing with anxiety.  It has been said that laughter is the BEST medicine, although I've had to take Lortabs in the past so I tend to disagree. But a nyways...grab a seat, a Xanax, do some deep breathing and enjoy yourself.

Today I want to talk a little bit more where anxiety/panic attacks puts you MENTALLY.

I am currently using a self help kit called Midwest Center - Attacking Anxiety and Depression. My Mother In Law saw it on TV and called and ordered it for me.  I am on disc 2 of the 15 disc set but I tell you what...though it sucks that other people are dealing/have dealt with this, it damn sure feels good to know that you aren't losing your freakin mind!

My last trip to the ER made me REALLY feel like I was losing my mind.  I had all these things "wrong" with me and by the time I was wheeled back to a room, I was fine. My BP and heart rate had gone down.  I didn't have a knot in my stomach and I no longer felt like I was about to rip off all my clothes and run down the street screaming.  

Once the doctor came in and started asking me about what was wrong, nothing was (physically) wrong anymore.  And that's the thing that makes you think you have some kind of disease or schizophrenia.  One minute you're in so much pain you can't take it and the next minute it's rainbows and lollipops.  

Listening to the groups on the discs my MIL got for me,  I hear people talk about their experiences with anxiety and panic attacks and I find myself talking to the CD saying "YES" or "I KNOW" or "YOU TOO??"  A wave of relief rushed over me when I heard this because I finally knew I wasn't alone.  And all the reading in the world can educate you and help you, but there is NOTHING like actually TALKING to someone or hearing someone TALK about how they feel, what they're going through or what they went through.  

Some of the things that really bother me now is sensitivity to light.  If I'm looking at my laptop and then start looking at the TV, because the lights are different; it bothers my eyes.  Or if I'm looking at my cell phone and then at the TV, that too bothers my eyes.  There are times when I still feel like I'm headed to a mental institution, but I'm learning how to train myself NOT to think that anymore.  Once the anxiety and depression starts to ebb, the symptoms will too.

It was also a relief to hear these people talk about their experiences and hear where they are in their life now.  Sometimes I feel like this is going to be something that I have to deal with forever.  But it's not.  And these people were on meds and had panic attacks for YEARS.  10, 15, 20, 30 years.  I have only been dealing with anxiety attacks since May, I couldn't image how these people do it for as long as they did.

I told my husband that once I beat this, I want to become a CERTIFIED counselor to help people like me.  Since I've become kind of open about me having anxiety, people have opened up to me about their anxiety.  Even if I'm just an ear to listen.  Sometimes we just want to vent our frustrations and need someone that's actually experienced anxiety/panic attacks before to listen and confirm that we aren't on our way to Rubber Roomville.