Now for some comedy relief.....

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, counselor nor a specialist.  The things I say in here are not for medicinal purposes.  I have found that writing helps ease my anxiety and the symptoms that go along with it.  This is not meant to harm, offend or piss anyone off.  These are MY thoughts and feelings and I've added some comedy relief.  This is the way I am dealing with anxiety.  It has been said that laughter is the BEST medicine, although I've had to take Lortabs in the past so I tend to disagree. But anyways...grab a seat, a Xanax, do some deep breathing and enjoy yourself.

One of the first things my doctor told me when my blood pressure was through the roof were two words that hurt me so bad.  Cut me DEEP.  I can't believe she's still allowed to practice medicine.  She told me until I could get my BP down: no coffee.  I looked at her and laughed before I said "I only drink one cup a day".  She proceed to look at me with that "Does it look like I'm playing with you?" look and said "No coffee.  You can drink decaf if you want."

I stood up and knocked her over, opened the door to the room and started knocking papers off desks, throwing whatever I could get my hand on and turning over the copier.  That's what happened in my mind...

In reality, a small tear escaped the corner of my right eye.  The lights in the room dimmed and the world was silent for about thirty seconds.  No seriously.  It was a soap opera moment.  My son was in his stroller in front of me drinking juice, eating crackers and laughing...but I heard not a sound....

OY!  I tried to quit cold turkey.  I even took her advice and tried to switch to decaf.  Decaf is the devil by the way.  Decaf tastes like filtered motor oil.  Not even dressed up with different flavored creamers is decaf anywhere near drinkable.  

 The first week was rough.  I woke up in a bad mood because I knew I couldn't have a cup of REAL coffee.  The mood swings...nothing nice.  So I told myself "It won't hurt you if you have a cup of coffee every now and then"  THEN the panic attacks started. I was STRONGLY advised by the nurse to let the caffeine go because it contibuted to anxious behavior and panic attacks.  Say what?  I thought she was nuttier than a squirrel turd.  Coffee was my EVERYTHING! 

So I told myself "SELF....You can do it.  NO MORE COFFEE"  And like a champ, I go against doctors orders and still have 2 cups a week.  My last trip to the ER, the doctor told me to leave the coffee alone (after I admitted to still drinking coffee).  I did tell her that if I had soda, it wasn't that often and it was either Sierra Mist or A&W, which is caffeine free so that should count for something right?  Ha!  She shook her head "NO" and said NO COFFEE.  I asked her if I could counteract the anxiety coffee caused by taking a Xanax with a cup of coffee.  She laughed and walked out of the room.  Come to think of it....she never DID answer my question......

And so it goes....