The last blog I ended with talking about me finally agreeing to talk with a therapist. Buckle your seat belt and get ready for THIS ride.....
Even though I'm from the big city, I'm currently living in Smalltown, USA. The town in which I live is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to a military base.
How is living next to a military base relevant to what this blog is about? Soldiers and family of soldiers often have to seek therapy for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and so you would think there would be a plethora of counselors, therapists and medial social workers on hand here to meet those needs. NOT!
My doctor and the ER doctor both had told me I needed to get help. Talk with a therapist to "retrain" my mind and take my daily worries and convert them into positive thoughts. It's easier pulling hornets teeth than finding a counselor you can sit down with and talk to. At least in my experience.
There is a center here that actually goes to employers and offers their counseling services for FREE. That should have been my first clue that these people were not worth the trouble.
I called on September 20th to set up an appointment and she told me their first opening was October 31st. (I'll wait while you count days/weeks) Really? I'm having severe anxiety attacks and I'm on the phone crying and you can't get me in for six weeks.
I call my doctor and asked if there was anywhere else I could go and her nurse told me that the center I couldn't get into actually had a walk in clinic and she gave the days and times of the walk in clinic. When I called to verify the dates/times, the woman on the phone told me they didn't do the walk in clinic anymore.
My wonderful husband gets on the phone and starts calling around trying to find someone I can go see and he gave me the names and numbers of the places that he actually made voice contact with. I called one place, set up an appointment with a woman. She could have seen me the next day, but I since I really don't want to drag my 20 month old to the sessions, I wanted to wait until that next Thursday where I could pay my $10 and leave him at the YMCA for 4 hours.
That Friday I had a bad, bad panic attack and my husband called the same center that I couldn't get into until October 31st and they told him that they had someone on hand that could see me right then. We get in the car and drive over there. When I got there they told me I had to speak with someone at their "response center" and then they would give the okay for the therapist to see me. Well, their "response center" is in a different building so they have this phone in the lobby. So you expect me to stand in the lobby where there are other people waiting and tell you my personal problems. EFF THAT!
The woman told me she would "okay" the therapist visit and I wait. And wait. And wait. What they failed to tell me was that they had to call another counselor at another center to come over. FINALLY the woman shows up. We talk and she tells me to come back Thursday to the Walk In Clinic. *record scratch* I explained to her I was told the walk in didn't exist anymore. She said that was not true.
Meanwhile, the other place I had an appointment at called and cancelled on me. Go Figure.
So Thursday rolls around. I drop my son off at the YMCA and go to the walk in clinic. The receptionist told me that the walk in clinic was for people without insurance. What? I told her to pull up my file and look at the notes. She read the notes and said "Oh okay, we'll see you today"
I have a seat and I'm waiting....and waiting....and waiting....and waiting. Finally I get up and ask what the hold up was. I was told that the ONLY person taking walk in patients that day was seeing people with appointments and I would be seen if one of the appointments didn't show up.
The ground started to shake....the sky darkened....the ground opened up and lava started spewing. YOU GOT TO EFFIN BE KIDDING ME!!! Your "Walk In Clinic" ONLY sees people if someone doesn't show up for their appointment? They obviously don't know the definition of "walk in".
So that's the shit I've dealt with while trying to find a therapist around here. That in itself has cause more stress than not attempting for find a therapist at all.
What do I do now? I take matters in my own hands.....
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