*Busy Signal*

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, counselor nor a specialist.  The things I say in here are not for medicinal purposes.  I have found that writing helps ease my anxiety and the symptoms that go along with it.  This is not meant to harm, offend or piss anyone off.  These are MY thoughts and feelings and I've added some comedy relief.  This is the way I am dealing with anxiety.  It has been said that laughter is the BEST medicine, although I've had to take Lortabs in the past so I tend to disagree. But a nyways...grab a seat, a Xanax, do some deep breathing and enjoy yourself.

Some people think that if you busy yourself with things to do, that anxiety will stay away.  And it will temporarily.  Anxiety/Panic attacks are oxymorons.  They're dumb, but oh so smart.   

The tricky thing about anxiety and panic attacks is, it doesn't check your schedule to see if you have time to panic and be anxious.  It doesn't sync with your calendar on your phone to see what times and days you have available to be anxious.  You won't open your daily planner and see: You're scheduled to be anxious on Wednesday and Friday and EXTREMELY anxious on Saturday.  Sunday you're scheduled to have a full blown panic attack somewhere between 11am and 4pm with LOTS of physical symptoms that won't go away immediately after, so make sure you're at home.

I'm a Stay At Home Mother with a VERY active 21 month old. He wants to climb out of his play area, knock stuff down, change the channel on the cable box, look out the blinds (which wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't using all the force in his 31 pound body to pull on the blinds to look out of them), etc. etc. so on and so on.  He requires 24 hour monitoring.  While drinking his juice, he likes to spit it out on his clothes.  While eating, he likes to throw food on the flood, behind him and down his shirt.  I can't even clean up the house most days because I have to constantly keep my eye on him.  He's a typical toddler.

If I have any errands to run, then I have to drag the midget all over town with me.  He's usually pretty good but we all know you can move faster by yourself. But I don't mind taking him along.  We talk and see stuff and if he's good, I'll grab him some Teddy Grahams or a bag of apple slices from Sonic so he can munch on.  
Then once my husband gets home, if I haven't already started dinner, then I have to do that.  And clean up.   And do anything else I need to do.  Oh, I have to find 2-3 days to make it to the Y and do my 45 minute workout.  *whew*

With all that on my plate five days a week, where do I have time to be anxious?  I don't! And if anxiety was to schedule a time with me, I'd have to cancel and tell it to try again next week or next month.  In a perfect world...

But this world isn't perfect.  People that have anxiety/panic attacks have attacks whether they're bogged down with things to do or sitting at home watching paint dry. I've learned that the hard way. Anxiety/panic attacks do not care.  They're ruthless.  It has no respect for you, your time or your feelings.  It doesn't care if you're in a room by yourself or a room full of people.   

Anxiety - you....YOU SUCK.  And I don't have time for you anymore.  Consider yourself evicted!  In a perfect world....

And So It Goes....