Bah Humbug!

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, counselor nor a specialist.  The things I say in here are not for medicinal purposes.  I have found that writing helps ease my anxiety and the symptoms that go along with it.  This is not meant to harm, offend or piss anyone off.  These are MY thoughts and feelings and I've added some comedy relief.  This is the way I am dealing with anxiety.  It has been said that laughter is the BEST medicine, although I've had to take Lortabs in the past so I tend to disagree. But a nyways...grab a seat, a Xanax, do some deep breathing and enjoy yourself.

It's THAT time of the year again. 

I, personally, am thankful and blessed to have a WONDERFUL husband, an AWESOME son and family to spend the holidays with.  Some, however, aren't that fortunate.


I always wish there was something I could do for the sick and shut in during these times.  My husband was in the hospital for most of the holiday season last year and I saw people that didn't have friends or family visit them and it can tug on your heart strings.  

This year I'm also more partial to people with anxiety and depression.  They've either lost family members (whether they passed away or the anxiety has made them separate themselves from the family) and this time of year can deepen the depression/anxiety.

To people with anxiety/depression, we'll often stay away from gatherings anyway, but ESPECIALLY at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner?  Why?  There are hundreds of reasons why.  You think that if someone knows about your "condition" they'll tell other family members and you're wondering if Uncle Joe is looking at you because he hasn't seen you in a year or because he's thinking "Yeah...I heard she's crazy now"  

You think that once you sit down to dinner and start feeling anxious, because of all the activity going on around you, that will heighten your anxiety and you'll start acting weird and run out of the house screaming, ripping your hair out follicle by follicle or stripping your clothes off in the middle of the street because you're in such a tizzy.  

People are sitting around talking and laughing, but you're tired of the facade. Instead of participating in the cooking, making dinner preparation or trips down memory lane conversations, you sit there pretending to watch the Packers game or read a book/magazine.  Truth is, you're not happy and you have nothing to say to anybody because you don't want to bring down the mood of the atmosphere.   

Xanax (or whatever medication you're taking) is now your security blanket.  Commercials on TV and radio taunt you.  I mean, you can't even go into McDonalds without Christmas being shoved down your throat.  This makes you extra, extra anxious.  Unfortunately, for people that are extremely lonely or depressed, this is where illegal drugs and heavy alcohol come into play.   

This is my first year dealing with anxiety/depression so I don't know how I'm going to feel on Thanksgiving Day when my husbands family gathers at his grandmothers house.  Will I go or will I stay at home?  I can't determine that yet.  In my mind, I really want to go because I always enjoy myself.  AT THE SAME TIME, I don't want to have a "moment" or be in a mood and have my aura interrupt the good time they're having.  

So if you know someone with anxiety/depression don't FORCE them to come to your granny's house or your best friends cousins house for dinner.  Ask them to stop by.  If they decline, tell them you want to come pay them a visit.  If they decline that offer, don't feel bad or get mad at them.  You remember that old break up like "It's not you, it's me"?  Well it REALLY is them and you've got to respect their feelings and wishes as you want yours respected.  You've reached out and to them and that shows you care.  I don't know about anyone else, but that would make me feel damn special!

And So It Goes.....